would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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