Me. At least after what I've been through.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
