incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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