Screwed.edu
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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