I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
