please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just want nice things and good sex
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
