so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
