i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
