You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
