FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
