I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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