I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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