Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
