exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
