Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
