well I can't set my house on fire every night
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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