her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
