Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
