im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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