You're a womanizer and a bitch.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And then my night got REAL pukey
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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