She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
