I'm lost and stupid without you.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
