I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
my god I love twenty year old dicks
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
