so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
