and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
