I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
