So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
