I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
