My hand turned me down
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
is that a dick in a sweater?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
