all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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