She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I will pee on everything he values.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
