question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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