I want to walk on stilts...naked
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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