Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
