So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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