The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
