We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
