O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
