How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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