Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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