I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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