absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
