I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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