The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the day after is always just damage control
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
