One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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