Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
