Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wish my penis had a tongue
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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