this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize