i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
