Just fell off a train. Bad.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
