The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
