I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
