Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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